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过新年

从小,要去拜年会让我很不自在。小时候是有点自卑的看别人穿很华丽的新衣,怎么我们一家都没什么打扮。而我又很矛盾的和爸妈比时尚更喜欢舒服。大了些,觉得拜年有点带伤的无聊。就是那种好像被逼在这天要聚在一起的感觉。

然而这三年的初一我爸那边都没能像往年一样在大伯家聚。其实没什么遗憾,只是有些小小的感慨。蛮感恩的。也默默地为家人献上祷告。


Feeling Frivolous// IG Moments

Compilation of some IG moments that I intentionally saved to remember and for posterity (half-kidding only).

Also because I am feeling frivolous after ending work at 10pm today, plus tomorrow is Friday, and it will just be MSF training wheeee. Making this video stirs up feelings of gratitude when I am reminded of God's faithfulness and how the adventure with Him has been so joy-full. Of course, I don't want to over-romanticise because there are certain moments when I just feel like this whole faith journey is hollow and meaningless.

Have been wanting to compile my Moments for some time- this app FilmoraGo is so gr9 <3 Main issue (which is perhaps mine) is that I can't rotate the video right side up so if happy watching it from a different angle :>

I had fun! At some point in the last 2 years of university, I realised how precious it was to have fun while doing something I am passionate about. Before that the first 2 years my friends told me I was intense-scary, and …

Super Blue Blood Moon

The reddish tint - or blood moon - happens due to "the effect of all the sunrises and sunsets all around the planet reflecting off the moon, which I think is really lovely," said NASA astrophysicist Michelle Thaller.- From CNA Well, I think so too. Read this explanation a few times, and it just sounded so beautiful but inconceivable at the same time.  Moment of being caught in wonder.

2018- New Births

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The best kind of holiday is the one that allows you to reflect and be refreshed, and that was exactly what the Jogja trip did for me.

Significantly, I think I had the conclusion to the prayer requests I asked of my colleagues for a few months at morning devotions (I admit I hadn't been very faithful in praying by myself- value of community experienced).

The main tension/question experienced in the transition from student to professional was: Am I doing enough for the kingdom of God? Well I do think it's fallacious to say that this will be the tension one faces in transiting to work because this tension is supposed to stay throughout our lives as we seek greater love.

Two threads of thoughts (trying to be more organised here) culminated from thinking during the long car rides and that 3 hours alone together with my 2 dear INFJ friends:

God demands much of us, mortal man made in His very image. To be like Christ is an uncompromising perfect standard, yet fitting for a holy LORD…

Wonder

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It's a wonder I haven't written anything about wonder before this.

Peebo reminded me again about how wonderful and wonder-full small things can be:

Okay he's not exactly small but you get my point (right?).

I scribbled down yesterday as I was struck again by that wonder after I had a long session with a youth:

It's a wonder that I am allowed to touch lives and impact them like this. It's a wonder that these youths who have been through so much allow me to enter their personal world as they share.

What bravery and trust it must have taken. Who am I to ask all these probing questions?

Such is the wonder at, and the wonder of social work that I think should be kept alive. It'll be a scary day when I look at social work and take it for granted. To take these stories for granted, to take such privileged access for granted. 

We also do well to wonder at the everyday beauty around us- lady helping senior with her grocery up the slope, the tender care from a father to his…

2017

He asked me, "Son of man, can these bones live?"
I said, "O Sovereign LORD, you alone know." Ezekiel 37:3 Read-typing these verses with Broken Vessels playing in the background. How apt.  It is strange how I didn't feel that momentous passing of time until now, December and 31st, the last day of 2017. (Thank God for the marking of time) 
Amazing grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me!
In the days leading up to Christmas, I was literally dreading having to get out of the house and face people. Looking back at my planner, it is a blank and I can't remember much of those days either. Just that weariness and slight despair. Ah, I know why. Emotional week it was, with 3 deaths of people I know/relatives of people I know. And with stuff happening at work. And so many things to settle for camp and things I have to go for. Including camp, which was these daunting 5 days in which I have to be strong, to be loving, to be more than what I was ever feeling…

Jay Dirt

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I'm really quite zapped after having a super intense conversation which happened after a long day of team bonding. But writing these down to process my emotions and thoughts (one advice on how to use my top strength which is Intellection)

I am not a team person. I am self-centered and if I were not a Christian I would be one major asshole.

Yet today as Psalm 46 was read for devotions, I choked when it came to me to read verse 3. Angry, indignant of how I perceived the Psalm was used like that to apply to the pending upheaval and to smoothen things in the team.

And then broken also. Broken because P. rightly, very edifyingly pointed out that everyone in the team has mostly good intentions. Broken because of my own resistance as I closed off and retreated into my self-centered state.

 Also because v4 is something I hold close to me (that's personal):
"Ada sebatang sungai yang alirannya akan menggembirakan kota Allah, tempat suci khemah Yang Maha Tinggi." A river whose …