Posts

Half-Awake Prayers

By His great grace alone, God hears half-awake prayers. That is, those first few half-coherent sentences jumbled with other passing thoughts that my mind mumbles every morning.

"We are, like earthworms, cabbages and nebulae, objects of Divine knowledge. But when we (a) become aware of the fact... and (b) assent with all our will to be so known, then we treat ourselves, in relation to God, not as things but as persons. We have unveiled. Not that any veil could have baffled His sight. The change is in us." (C.S. Lewis in Prayer: Letters to Malcolm, emphasis added)

What an awesome gift and privilege prayer is - to be able to meet God face to face, even bringing incoherent babble or faithless (and thus empty) words at times.

Writing this in the morning before I prepare to head out for a new work day; it is prayer that makes me ready and refreshed for the work ahead.


God Spoke to Me Through My GP

Image
In more ways than one, God spoke to me through my GP. I had put off going to the doc's but well I really need to be well by Monday.

Somehow I have a slight mistrust of doctors, after a bad encounter at the hospital with my Granny's doctor and knowing that GP clinics are basically a business. Perhaps also from researching about healthcare for my thesis and stories from MSW friends.

I also hate waiting in clinics or bureaucratic offices. To me the feeling of waiting to be processed is quite disempowering. Yet, unpleasant as the waits are they are good because they remind me of how social service users have these waits in higher frequency, and much longer duration.

And then I had a seat which was great because I had brought my Bible to read. Quiet space is intentionally created and there in the clinic, truths were again spoken over me, echoing down the ages as I read the words (2 Corintians 9:6-15).

The most divine part was the conversation with Dr Gloria, who challenged my stere…

你会怕孤独吗?

Image
大姑丈问的这一句仿佛象征着世界会不断问我的问题。
Do I dare to make that resolution again, to wait on the LORD? You know, thinking about the vastness of Your plan for this world and our part in it, my heart is stilled. 

Like in Tap Mei Tuk where the cloud-covered mountains and gently lapping waters declare Your glory. How wonderful to know You and walk in Your ways! 
 "The Lord directs our steps, so why try to understand everything along the way?"  Proverbs 20:24 (NLT)
 I am ready to go back home now, to begin work and continue with ministry. There is a place for me there, and I will discover why these doors have been opened. 
P.S. I am very happy to share about stuff to do in HK~ It feels like a second home; I've had one of the best times of my life and precious moments of basking in God's creation here.

Going, To Say Goodbye

Image
Currently typing this on phone as I head out of NUS for the last time as a (graduated) student. Went back to drop off the Honours Room key and my heart feels like it wants to linger.

I look and finger the key a final time, and tell myself: This season has ended. And with that, the clang of the key and I walked away, no turning back.

Walking down the stairs I've climbed countless times (almost always in haste), I reflected that perhaps in this journey, I'll always be discovering that the next season is a more true calling/place I should be. And the previous one is there to prepare me for the next. My heart was screaming for time to stop as the HK exchange ended, and the first few months back were terrible. Yet that season of my life, which has just ended, has been one of the best. (Ha ha ha, guess what, I think I've said that for the other past seasons too).

What a beautiful adventure You have called us to, Lord. Joys and trials unimaginable, You show us who we…

Commencement // Project Masterpiece

Image
And with the last day of Project Masterpiece for the commencement ceremonies tomorrow, this chapter in NUS is really really coming to an end. These past few (crazy busy and blessed) days where I have been traversing familiar places in school, the memories attached to those places put a smile on my face as I recount my blessings. Perhaps it is only as we look back that we see, how beautiful the journey has been. But I have been immensely blessed to already know how blessed I am throughout university- because I have a clear vision and purpose for what I hope to do in NUS and where I want to be.

With my own commencement this Monday night, graduation suddenly becomes official (I have made a clear promise to myself not to take advantage of student card discounts anymore), which also means the imminence of work. I was reminded of it just now and I almost couldn't bear to think of how my life will be so drastically changed. Will I be jaded and cease to believe in why I started on the so…

O God Beyond All Praising

Image
Words: Michael Perry, sung to the tune of THAXTED

"O God beyond all praising,
we worship you today
and sing the love amazing
that songs cannot repay;
for we can only wonder
at every gift you send,
at blessings without number
and mercies without end.
We lift our hearts before you
and wait upon your Word,
we honor and adore you,
our great and mighty Lord.

The flower of earthly splendor
in time must surely die,
its fragile bloom surrender
to you, the Lord most high;
but hidden from all nature
the eternal seed is sown -
though small in mortal stature,
to heaven's garden grown:
for Christ, your gift from heaven,
from death has set us free,
and we through him are given
the final victory.

Then hear, O gracious Savior,
accept the love we bring,
that we who know your favor
may serve you as our King;
and whether our tomorrows
be filled with good or ill,
we'll triumph through our sorrows
and rise to bless you still:
to marvel at your beauty
and glory in your ways,
and make a joyful …

Faces // Love is not a thing to be so used

Maybe I write this post as a mini self rebuke, maybe an act of subtle self-glorification.

"A discerning man keeps wisdom in view, but a fools' eyes wander to the ends of the earth." Proverbs 17:24 Feels like straight in the heart rebuke when I read it this morning.  Dear Mum and Dad, family and friends:
I am both sorry and not sorry. Which in effect is not sorry at all. And I am, in my better self, sorry for that. Sorry that I don't really care about the great mess in my room nor the fact that I probably lost my identity card. It really doesn't matter at the end of it, like I said to the utter dismay of my friends in response to the possibility of missing our flight back to Singapore. 
After awhile, it kinda sucks being seen as crazy/foolish/needing to be restrained. Of course, there is truth in it. (No, I shall not be tempted into emotional pride and feel like it's me against the world) Yet I hope that some of this other-worldliness is a vision lived out... …