blabber

Normally I will start the post with a title first but today I just had the urge to blog but had nothing in mind I wanted to put here. Anyway since I don't have an obligations to blog regularly and on common themes, I can blabber all I want.

America is really a place of possibilities. You can really do what you want and get support for it too, and the only things that stand in your way is your lack of talent or God's will. Mebbe that's why we all (by that I mean Singaporean teens) want out, to varying degrees. But I'm secretly scared I won't survive overseas. Once I was in the airport and some Caucasian asked me something and took awhile for me to realise he was speaking English. Asking whether there's rice in Macs. Dumb. But I felt dumb instead. I hate feeling dumb. (Especially in guitar class)

Okay, I don't know why the post became like that. It was supposed to be letters to people I really wanted to write to, but somehow couldn't. In this weird, somewhat ironic way, I miss my friends and those times but never kept in touch, because I'm scared of the imperceptible change that you can't put a finger to but you know its there all the same.

Vernis: Hey, you know, seeing all your bits and pieces on Facebook is seriously inadequate. I want to know what's going on in your life now. You seem happier than back when you first left, but I don't know, I can imagine sometimes the bewildering sense of being lost you might feel sometimes.

XH: I was really really lost the start of this year, and I really felt different and wanted to be. Cos in some strange way I didn't want to blend in. Yup, so the part about you saying I didn't want to get too close to new friends was kinda true. I'm beginning to accept changes better I think. By the end of next year I will say I will miss that place.

ZY: Sorry if I confused you. Nothing tangible happened so I don't know if its my imagination or what. Well, nothing will I guess.There are just some people in the class you don't get close to -- the unexplainable logic of making friends.

Hui Zhen: I miss you. Or rather, those times we spent recess in your class and always always there was laughter. Mebbe even Felix's stinky shirt, so we can contort our faces at it. I guess it was like I said in the letter, there's the invisible thread holding us together just became longer. Until nice nice memories to be wistfully recalled remain. (I'm being melodramatic/contrived/ what's with the deliberate use of this)

Comments